The legend of Jesus’ Taco Stand

Joseph Adago
3 min readMay 8, 2020

Holed up at my Aunt’s house in New Jersey afraid to leave the house, I am reminded of an important discovery I made the last time New York was in a crisis and I was unemployed.

I was walking on 145 Street and there it was in the back of a Twin Donut Shop, Jesus’ Taco Stand. My first thought was “Boy, the guy really did love the poor.”

I tried to chat up the guy behind the counter about his boss but sadly, his English was weak. Which makes sense I imagine he only spoke ancient Hebrew but he sure looked like a Spanish guy to me.

It is too bad I wanted to ask him about his job interview with Jesus I bet it was fascinating…

Jesus:

“I mean the pay is lousy, but the benefits are just great… health benefits no… but I can pretty much guarantee when you die I can get you into to heaven. I mean just please do not spit in the food or take twenties from the till. And trust me I am a great boss I mean forgiveness is like a major portion of my spiel.”

I walked to the counter to order but the guy behind counter indicated that they did not open until Noon. Jesus lets his workers sleep in how very Christian of him.

I decided to wait until the place was open. I mean people have literally been waiting thousands of years for this guy to come back. I figured the least I could do was wait 10 minutes for his tacos.

Now this event takes place during an ancient time before Yelp existed. But Zagat was around. The older readers will remember Zagat. I would explain to the younger readers what Zagat was but I am pretty sure they are all playing Fortnite.

But much like today during the last crises people were distracted. Think about it, our Lord and Savior comes down to earth to open a taco stand and the poor guy could not even get a lousy Zagat review.

It is too bad the Zagat review would have been interesting.

Supporters called the food “Inspiring and the prices miraculous.” They explain away the shabby décor with “Well he was born in a manger”. Critics question whether the place even exists.

I ordered the special. Now it was not exactly the seven loaves of bread and fish that fed four thousand people but I will have to say 5 tacos and a large drink for $6.99 seemed like a bit of a miracle to me.

I know the man was the focus of some controversy but let me say this for the son of God “He makes one mean taco.”

While I would have to overall give the place an excellent review. I have to say that later, and I do not want to be to explicit, but in the bathroom, much like Jesus, there was some suffering.

Now sadly, the next day I passed by and the place was closed. I have been praying for Jesus’ return ever since.

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Joseph Adago

When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV....